Will Miss #117 - embarrassment sparing

Once, during our more than 20 year stay in the same apartment, we completely blanked out on paying our rent and were more than a week late in paying it. Unlike most people these days, we still pay our rent in cash and in person to the landlord. When we failed to pay, instead of the landlord or his wife charging over and saying we were late and needed to pay, she came trotting over and said, "

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Won't Miss #117 - algae tank

During the entire duration of my stay in Japan, there has been a little shop that has a fish tank out front. Sometimes, they clean the tank and you can see the goldfish living in it. Most of the time, it's in various states of being consumed by algae. I don't know much about fish, but I have read that algae kills them. It simply makes me sad seeing the fish being taken care of improperly, and I

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Will Miss #116 - sound of the tofu cart lady

There's something very old world about the fact that people still walk around Tokyo pulling carts and selling goods. Each of them has their own unique way of calling customers out to them and the tofu cart people carry a little horn that they play in a particular way. Hearing this has a strange way of making me feel connected to humanity and the people around me, even the strangers.I'll miss

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Won't Miss #116 - misplaced irritation

Tokyo is a densely populated city full of small shops and narrow spaces. If there is a place worth getting to, someone else is probably standing in your way attempting to get there before you or attending to some other business en route. Despite this reality, I'm confronted on a regular basis with people who bash, bang, and bump into me then give me the hairy eyeball, cluck disapprovingly, or

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Will Miss # 115 - divine messes

One of my students once remarked that she felt Japanese people had "no sense of space." She said that she felt they were poor at organizing spaces and tended to stack crap everywhere. This assertion, which I have seen backed up on multiple occasions by the homes around me, flies in the face of the minimalism myth which many people who have never been to Japan (except possibly as tourists) like to

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Won't Miss #115 - Japanese potatoes

The issues I have with Japanese potatoes are three-fold. First of all, deeply flavorful, red-skinned potatoes are very rare. They may be offered in some areas, but I never see them in any of the markets in my neighborhood (and I go to 4 different markets and see numerous fruit and vegetable stands as well). Second, most of the potatoes are really small. If you're going to peel them, this makes

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Will Miss #114 - amazing parking feats

Japanese people have to go to expensive driving schools for a long period of time before they can get a license, and there are good reasons for this. The picture associated with this post shows a pretty amazing parking feat. This giant Jeep is expertly squeezed into a small parking space with about a foot to spare on one side and just inches on the other side. Only a very slender person could

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Won't Miss #114 - key money & contract renewal fees

Though it isn't always the case, you often have to pay two months of "gift" money when you first sign a contract and one to three months again every two years when you renew your contract. This is mandatory, though it can be negotiated in some cases. The money is little more than extortion and a way of extracting more money from the tenant. In some cities, this is illegal and there has been much

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Will Miss #113 - dry cleaning storage

Dry cleaners in Tokyo perform an extra service at a relatively low fee. Because many people live in such small spaces, dry cleaners will take your seasonal clothing, clean it, and keep it in storage until the proper season rolls around to use such clothing again. This saves people from things like having to keep bulky coats or quilts crammed in their valuable closet space through the summer.I'll

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Won't Miss #113 - hassling with big trash

Back when I first arrived in Japan, all trash was simply put on the street for pick-up. This had an interesting side effect where many foreign people could find furnishings for their apartment literally sitting by the side of the road. Things changed awhile back and now getting rid of big trash (sodai gomi) is a hassle. You have to call your local government office, get a quote on how much your

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Will Miss #112 - a lack of one-upmanship

For the most part, Japanese people are not overtly competitive in their daily lives. That is, they will not try to boast about their abilities or downplay your experiences or capabilities to make themselves feel smarter or more capable. If anything, they will downplay their skills to avoid looking boastful because such behavior is seen as crass in Japan and looked down upon. With many Western

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Won't Miss #112 - Japanese baseball

Let me state for clarification purposes that I don't like baseball in any country. I always associate it with boredom. That being said, Japanese baseball takes boredom to a nadir. For starters, Japanese baseball players play like fretful old ladies. They're likely to bunt with one out and a runner on first instead of letting the batter swing and hoping for a big inning. You can predict what

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Will Miss #111 - Avic electronic monsters

Every year at the local tanabata festival, Sony's Avic electronics shop sets up a very large electronic monstrosity. These monsters move and make sounds. Kids always freak out at them and people's responses to them are always interesting to watch.I'll miss seeing these electronic creatures (and wondering what they'll do next year), and watching people interact with them.

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Won't Miss #111 - my tiny apartment (the not so good)

(click this small image to see one which is a more legible size)While everything I say in the previous post about loving my apartment is true, and I will leave it with some regret, there are things I won't miss. For one, this small space has seen more stubbed, scraped and banged up toes than I can count. Even after years of learning not to take long strides, I still bash body parts on furniture

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Will Miss #110 - my tiny apartment (the good)

(This is an old picture, but I'm too lazy to take a new one.)I've lived in the same apartment during my entire 20 years in Japan. It's showing its age in the smog-coated walls, crumbling Japanese wall coverings, and aging bathroom tile. I still love it though. I love the way the space is laid out so that it feels bigger than its 250 sq. feet size and how I've gotten it "just so" with the

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Won't Miss #110 - hello, goodbye, gaijin friends

One unavoidable aspect of being a foreigner who stays in Japan for a long time is that other foreigners are almost certainly not going to be here as long as you. There's a veritable revolving door of people who you get to know, get to like (or love), and who ultimately leave for their home pastures. While it certainly is possible to keep such friendships alive over the distance, ultimately it is

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Will Miss #109 - preoccupation with U.S. politics

There was not one decoration at the festival depicting a Japanese politician, but there was a familiar American face.Being obsessed with American politics isn't a strange thing as long as you are an American. After all, what your leaders do should be of concern to you. It is more than a little strange to see people in Japan being more interested in America's leaders than their own, and to often

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Won't Miss #109 - prejudice paranoia

Some of the most valuable learning experiences that I've had in Japan haven't necessarily been happy ones, and one of them is what it feels like to be a minority that is discriminated against. I can't say that I know what it feels like to be black, Hispanic, etc. in the U.S., but at least I can say that I can empathize with being regarded as inferior or suspicious at a glance, or singled out for

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Will Miss #108 - fabulous costumes

Japan doesn't celebrate Halloween, so you don't often see people in costumes. However, on the occasion that people dress up for some sort of special appearance or celebration, the costumes almost always look great. I have never seen a Japanese person in a shabby or amateurish costume that looks like it was sewn together by their grandmothers or cobbled together from bits of painted junk that they

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Won't Miss #108 - sushi

I realize that this post makes me a gigantic heretic in the eyes of Japanophiles and foodies alike, but I don't care for sushi. I don't hate it. It doesn't make me sick and I'm not freaked out by the notion of eating raw fish. I'm simply not a big fan of it and, while I can choke some down, it doesn't do anything for me. I don't like the texture of the toppings or the smell of nori. I also just

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Will Miss #107 -gun control

The previous post aside, handguns are illegal in Japan so the chances that you're going to get shot by a disgruntled coworker are pretty much zero. No, if a pissed off former employee wants to take it out on his former compatriots, he's going to have to go for a mass stabbing instead (as that has been the trend in the past year or so). I'm going to go on the record as saying I am for gun control

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Won't Miss #107 - gun hypocrisy

Very realistic looking, but fake, guns for sale in Akihabara.The Japanese are inordinately proud of the fact that most of them don't have guns, and many erroneously believe that guns are illegal to possess. The truth is that people can and do own hunting guns, but hand guns are not allowed. Regardless, guns (and gun violence) fascinate a lot of Japanese men and this is one reason that American

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Will Miss #106 - beetles as pets

In the summer, Japanese kids and boys in particular buy big-ass beetles and keep them as pets. While I'm too old to appreciate the fun of keeping a huge bug with scary-looking pincers as a pal, I find the fact that they do this pretty cool. The appearance of the beetles and the sales of the cages they're kept in will always be imprinted in my mind as a part of summer in Japan. There's also

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Won't Miss #106 - late release of media

American entertainment media almost always lags behind in Japan. Sometimes, a movie, DVD, or T.V. show will be simultaneously released, but this is rare. While this isn't a big deal, it does mean that we're one step behind, pop culturally speaking, when talking about such frivolities with people back home and can make you feel disconnected and out of touch. It can also be a bigger problem when

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Will Miss #105 - strong sense that kids are wanted

In Japan, I have never had the sense that parents want nothing more than for their kids to grow up and get out of the house so they can get on with their lives. Many American parents seem to have a lot of ambivalence about their children and the way in which having them takes away their freedom personally and economically. While I'm sure some Japanese parents feel this way, too, as a society, I

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Won't Miss #105 - overpackaging

Despite my appreciation (in the previous post) of the convenient packaging in Japan, I feel very guilty about buying things which are individually wrapped. This is often especially true for things for which it appears unnecessary. For instance, do some types of sembei really need to be individually wrapped? It feels a lot like putting 5 Pringles chips in stacks and wrapping them in plastic.

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Will Miss #104 - convenient packaging

Rice being sold in a 200 gram (7 oz.) package that can be snapped in half for 100 gram (3.5 oz.) servings.Most things in Japan are packaged with the customers' convenience and lifestyle preferences in mind rather than efficiency. This is handy if you're the type of person who prefers to eat things in small portions or takes a long time to use something up. Often cookies come individually wrapped

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Won't Miss # 104 - spice and salt caking

Because of the long, humid summer and generous amounts of rain in Tokyo, I always have problems with spices and salt caking into lumps. While I keep most of my spices in the refrigerator, I simply do not have the space to keep everything in it and the result is having to whack the counter with the jars to try and break up the inevitable bricks that form. What makes it worse is the fact that

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Will Miss #103 - neighborhood mystery house

Within a 1 minute walk of my apartment, there is a huge house with a large accompanying garden which is surrounded by 5-foot walls topped with barbed wire and masked by trees. The entryways are boarded over or gated and you can see lots of mirrors, floodlights, and even security cameras behind the trees. I never see anyone coming or going (though I don't really keep tabs on it), but I know

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Won't Miss #103 - nose pickers on trains

Let me make one thing clear. People around the world pick their noses. In America, you see people do it in their cars. Honestly, I can accept that people pick their noses and if you want to sit in your vehicle and get into your nasal cavities up to the second knuckle, it's not my problem. That being said, when people (actually, men) sit on public transport and perform deep excavations, it becomes

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Will Miss #102 - Calpis

When I first arrived in Japan, one of the things which provided a chuckle was the existence of a drink named "Calpis". Since it sounds like "cow piss" when you say it, it tickles the part of your funny bone which can still enjoy juvenile humor. The truth is that this is not a case of funny Japanese product naming, but rather a combination "Calcium" and the sanskirt word "Sarpis". Nonetheless, the

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Won't Miss #102 - angry and rude old people

Something is happening with old people in Japan and it's being reflected in increasing numbers of social problems related to them. They are committing more crimes and becoming more aggressive over incidental things (like improperly sorted trash or unavoidable noise). Over the 20 years I've been in the same neighborhood, I've noticed a marked increase in rude and angry old people. I was attacked (

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Will Miss #101 - smell of charcoal grilling

About a three-minute walk from my apartment, there's a dingy little restaurant which uses buckets of red hot coals to cook its food. In the evening, when they are in full service mode, these buckets are sitting outside full of glowing coals and the air is filled with the heavenly scent of grilled food which is made with them. The smell is distinctive and extremely enticing.I'll miss the lovely

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Won't Miss #101 - "the gaijin bubble"

Note: actual gaijin bubble not pictured. This is a model that was displayed on the Fukutoshin line (and I have no idea what it is).People like to talk about what they call "the gaijin bubble" and the fact that they believe some (or many) foreigners in Japan live in one. The premise is that, if you live in Japan but are not inhaling Japanese culture through every pore and have any desire to enjoy

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