Will Miss #100 - new generational housing

In Tokyo, it is relatively rare to see long rows of identical housing. This is rather different from what you sometimes see in other countries where someone has bought up and developed an area with a bunch of cookie cutter dwellings. Usually, seeing identical houses means that families have split their little plot of land and built homes side-by-side. It's a way of keeping the generations

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Won't Miss #100 - trash cages

The mailboxes for this apartment building are just above this. Can you imagine the fun of reaching over this for your mail?Handling trash in a large urban area where there is little storage space and relatively infrequent pick-up is a tricky business. It is complicated by the fact that crows in Japan will pick trash apart if the bags are left out in an uncovered state. While there are a few

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Will Miss #99 - No Spam snobbery

In the U.S., Spam is seen as the lowest of the low among foodstuffs. It's seen as being eaten by people who lack sophistication or have damaged tongues or palates. In Japan, Spam does not carry the same stigma of being low-rent fare. In fact, it's actually pretty expensive (about $5 a can), and while the Japanese don't eat it regularly, I've yet to meet someone who doesn't like it. Every Japanese

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Won't Miss #99 - super genki "girls"

There's a special breed of Japanese woman who you will recognize immediately if you come across one. Such women are usually on the young side (20-30) and seem to be overflowing with positive energy. They're happy, and peppy, and bursting with the desire to please. There's a Japanese word, "genki", which covers this, but these girls are like a high octane version of "genki". Such women are fine in

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Will Miss #98 - the comically misinformed about drugs

If you've ever seen the over the top cult movie "Reefer Madness", you might chuckle at the sort of rubes in the 40's and 50's who would buy the notion that pot smoking could have such an amazingly distorting effect on you. Well, "Reefer Madness" is in the ballpark of the thinking that most Japanese people have about pot. They believe that it is in the same league as cocaine and heroin in the

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Won't Miss #98 - "Japan is wasted on you"

A lot of people who have never lived in Japan but have only experienced it for either short or extended stays as tourists or limited business travel tell me that "Japan is wasted on (me)." They say this because I am not crazy about the aspects of Japan that they are nuts about. Those aspects vary depending on the person who I'm speaking with, but they cluck and wag their finger at me for not

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Will Miss #97 - toilet tissue names and sayings

Toilet paper is often amusingly named (in English) in Japan. There's also usually some peculiar heartfelt message (again in English) written on the package. The words really have no meaning to the Japanese, but they rarely fail to entertain me.I'll miss these wacky names and sayings.

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Won't Miss #97 - being redirected to Japanese sites

It's immensely irritating to be forcibly redirected to Japanese versions of sites that I want to read in English. Clearly, some sites have a system which checks the origin of the request and tries to second guess your desires based on location. Google is especially persistent about this. In fact, sometimes it simply refuses to let me work in English or to search for English results and constantly

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Will Miss #96 - Japan Tobacco manner posters

(A bigger version that can be read can be seen if you click this one.)Japan Tobacco has a series of manner posters which you occasionally see all over Japan. They encourage people not to do a lot of the lazy things that they do in order to make their butts another person's problem. Usually, the English on the posters is correct, but the way in which the behavior is framed or written about is

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Won't Miss #96 - foreign employees distrust

I worked at a Japanese office for 12 years and one of the things which repeatedly occurred was distrust of the foreign employees. Our working space was intentionally placed right in front of the president's office so he could keep an eye on us. What was more frustrating though was that any time we made any sort of (almost always small) mistake, we would spend the next year hearing about it. That

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Will Miss #95 - flushing sound machines

In most public toilets, you'll find either a little box on the wall which will play a fake flushing sound when you press the button or controls on the toilet seat's washlet panel that does the same thing. The presence of these mechanisms is a reflection of a certain cultural shyness about making toilet-use-related noises. These devices were created and installed to stop women from wasting water

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Won't Miss #95 - passive coercion

Japanese people have a way of trying to push you to do what they want without actually asking you to do what they want. They do it by not responding or by continuously reasserting the same "problem" until you offer the solution that they want. For instance, if someone wants to reschedule an appointment for a specific day, but you can't give them the time they want and offer alternatives, they

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Will Miss #94 - amado

Most Tokyo apartments have metal shutters on either side of the large glass sliding doors that lead onto their balconies or verandas. They flank either side and slide horizontally. These shutters are called "amado" and they serve several purposes. One is that they can be used for security. When you slide them in front of the door, you can latch them together in the middle. It'd be impossible for

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Won't Miss #94 - having to carry an alien registration card

By law, foreigners have to carry their alien registration cards with them at all times in Japan and present the card if any official requests that one to do so. If you don't carry it with you, you are subject to a possible $2000 (200,000 yen) fine and being taken into the police station for interrogation. The latter has a very high chance of happening, the former, I'm not so sure about, but that

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Will Miss #93 - sumo

My early years in Japan were spent immersed in sumo. I watched it every night on the Sumo Digest, on weekends on NHK (Japanese public television), visited a sumo training stable, and watched it in the flesh about a half dozen times at the national stadium in Ryogoku (Ryogoku Kokugikan). It's the only sport in the world that I really understand thoroughly.Even though I'm no longer a rabid fan, I

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Won't Miss #93 - "Japanese people don't steal"

I can't tell you how many times I've read comments by foreigners who claim Japanese people are honest and don't commit crimes. In particular, there is a myth that they (by and large) do not steal. I've read people say that all the theft in Japan is carried out by Asian immigrants, particularly the Chinese residents. What is more, Japanese people often repeat this myth. Not only has there been an

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Will Miss #92 - mont blanc

Mont blanc is a dessert made with sweetened chestnut paste. The origin is not clearly known, but either some place in Japan gets credit or a place in France. Whatever the origin, I never saw mont blanc in the United States and don't expect to find it easily there when I return. In Japan, mont blanc is sold almost everywhere, from 99 yen convenience stores with refrigerator cases to supermarkets

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Won't Miss #92 - Japanese milk

The milk in Japan tastes weird. It could be that I grew up surrounded by people who had cows and sold fresh milk. I'm guessing that even the milk that we bought in markets wasn't very old and didn't travel far. That being said, my husband didn't grow up in farm country and he thinks Japanese milk tastes odd as well. I think it has something to do with the pasteurization or homogenization process,

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Will Miss #91 - initials with a different cross-cultural meaning

I occasionally buy a packet of nutritional supplements which has "Ca and VD" on the front of it. The "VD" isn't venereal disease, but vitamin D, but the initials always bring syphilis and gonorrhea to mind. There are a lot of cases where the Japanese use of initials is completely innocent, but comes across very differently to me. One of the most common ones is "K.Y." You see it on shirts and

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Won't Miss #91 - Japanese wall coverings

In some Japanese apartments, there is this strange type of wall covering. It's like a mix of tiny crushed chips of some building material. It looks okay when it's new, but as time goes by, some serious problems develop. One of those problems is related to the fact that you cannot clean this stuff. The best you can do is run a vacuum cleaner over it because water will simply destroy it and make it

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Will Miss #90 - just the two of us

My husband and I have a wildly successful marriage. We're happier being with each other than anyone else and are content to stay home and share each others company. What does this have to do with Japan? I'm convinced that some part of the success of our marriage is rooted in the isolation of living as a foreign couple here (we're both American). We're free of the mitigating factors which can

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Won't Miss #90 - Japanese water closet

While I love the fact that our toilet is in a separate room from our bath (and I love the bath, as I said in the previous post), I hate the little water closet that the toilet is in. It's extremely small. In fact, it's smaller than a standard coat closet back home. It's about the width of two toilets and there's no window so it's airless. There is a fan, but it doesn't really help much for airing

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Will Miss #89 - Japanese bath

I love our Japanese bath, even though it's looking a bit worse for wear and the tile is a pain to clean. I don't like it for it's biggest feature, the Japanese tub. There are two types of baths in Japan. One is a "unit bath" which has a toilet in the same room as a Western style tub. The other is the type with a super deep, but very short tub. A tall person has to sit with knees bent and a

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Won't Miss #89 - change and receipt offering method

This is a topic which you will almost certainly hear a foreign person complain about after they've spent a short time in Japan. Men in particular seem to be put out by it, but it's an issue for everyone. When you purchase something in Japan, most of the time you are given your receipt and then your change is dumped on top of the receipt. Since you already have your wallet in your other hand, this

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Will Miss #88 - 40-45 minutes of commercial-free T.V.

The flip-side to the previous post about continuous commercials is that you can watch a lot of television programs commercial-free without a break and you can record them without interruptions. In fact, when science fiction shows like Star Trek are ran, they advertise the fact that it is without commercials and good for recording. This is pretty cool when you hate commercials and are watching in

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Will Miss #87 - Lipton Milk Tea

I'm not a fan of Lipton tea, with one huge exception. I absolutely love the pre-made milk tea that they sell in cartoons in Japan. It's rich, fatty, perfectly floral with a slight edge of coconut. It's one of the most decadent beverages I've ever had without ice cream in it. It's a perfect blend and not too sweet. I'm certain that whatever tea that is sold in cartons back home is not going to

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Won't Miss #88 - 10-15 minutes of commercials

On Japanese cable television, programs often end between 40 and 50 minutes past the hour for hour-long shows and 20 minutes past the hour for half-hour-long shows. We are then treated to 10 or 15 minutes of nothing but commercials or promotional ads for other programs. I like to watch T.V. while I exercise to alleviate the boredom of walking or pedaling in place, but this long sequence of

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Won't Miss #87 - "charisma men"

Want to provoke a fight with random foreign men in Japan who are interested in or in a relationship with a Japanese woman? Bring up the topic of Charisma men and you'd get a good shot at it. Charisma men are essentially average (or below average) foreign males who want to be rock stars despite lacking any particular talent, looks, or personality. Basically, these are men who capitalize on

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Will Miss #86 - Japanese PDAs

When we first arrived in Japan, we never saw much in the way of public displays of affection (PDAs). In fact, we got yelled at on a train by a random middle-aged Japanese guy for our own slightly amorous behavior. Things have slowly been changing and now we sometimes see Japanese couples walking hand-in-hand. Generally speaking, Japanese culture still frowns on this sort of thing, so I always

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Won't Miss #86 - too low sink and counters

Japanese sinks, counters, and the gas tables which sit on them seem to be designed with much shorter people in mind. My husband is of the opinion that they are designed only with the height of Japanese women in mind rather than the average height of both men and women. I'm not a particularly tall woman, but the sink is easily 6 inches too low for comfortably washing dishes without lower back

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Will Miss #85 - Japanese body language

Despite having lived in Japan for about two decades, I'm still amused by some of the differences in body language (aside from the overuse of the peace sign in pictures). When an American points at himself, he will point at his chest. When a Japanese person points at herself, she will point at her nose. Additionally, when I count on my fingers for others to see, I start with a closed hand and

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Won't Miss #85 - loud sound trucks

In Japan, certain types of commercials are illegal including overt political ads. That means that politicians have to find other ways to get their messages out. One of those ways is to drive around having their messages blare from loudspeakers. Similarly, right-wing extremists drive around loudly playing their messages. These trucks drive slowly so that more of their message is heard and the

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Will Miss #84 - Japanese superstitions

During one of my private lessons, the student noticed that there was a spider crawling down the wall not too far from her. She didn't freak out, but rather said, "oh you're lucky". I asked her why and she said that seeing a spider at night was lucky, but then she said maybe it was lucky in the morning. All cultures have their superstitions, but I've always enjoyed experiencing new ones in real

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Won't Miss #84 - futon

A lot of people swear by the comfort of a futon, but I'm the sort who is more likely to swear at a futon. During my first visit to Japan, I spent a month in my then boyfriend's apartment sleeping on a futon and it was not a pleasure. Sure, I could manage, but I wouldn't call sleeping on a mat full of cotton batting comfortable. They're also a pain in the ass to maintain as they have to be beaten

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Will Miss #83 - gift giving customs

Japan is a culture where relationships are oiled with presents. Though the custom is weakening a bit, it's still common for wrapped presents to be offered on certain occasions. When people travel, they often bring "souvenirs" back for their coworkers and other contacts in their lives. There are also summer and winter (ochugen and oseibo) gift giving seasons. Additionally, students are inclined to

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Won't Miss #83 - squealing bicycle brakes

There's a particular type of bicycle in Japan which is marketed toward housewives. It's a cheap, but serviceable model which is sold new for between $80-120 (8,000-12,000 yen). This type of bike is called a "mama chari". That's "mama" for "mother" and "chari" is supposed to be the sound the bells on those bikes make. These bikes seem to have a common problem in that their brakes squeal horribly

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Will Miss #82 - being able to hang out laundry

I've heard in America that some neighborhoods won't allow people to hang their clothes out to dry because of concerns that it'll look bad or lower the image of the neighborhood. Much as I hate having to hang out my laundry, I'm happy to be able to without a bunch of neighborhood busybodies getting their undies in a bunch over it spoiling the view. With current energy and environmental concerns,

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Won't Miss #82 - needing to hang out laundry

Few homes in Tokyo have clothes dryers so you have to hang out your clothes to dry. Even those that have dryers find that Japanese dryers use low temperatures and take hours to dry clothes. I know because I used to have one and it was almost useless. I've been told that they use low temperatures to stop clothes from shrinking. At any rate, nearly everyone hangs out their clothes because this is

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Will Miss #81 - Japanese punctuality

One of the core attributes of Japanese culture is their emphasis on punctuality. While people have become increasingly slack about being on time in social situations (largely due to the ubiquitous use of cell phones and the capability to easily notify others of how late they'll be), they are still quite careful about being on time when it matters like for business appointments or service meetings

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Won't Miss #81 - cluelessness about reducing coin return

Before I ever set foot in Japan, I used to hear about how the Japanese were completely walloping Americans on math test scores. We were made to feel like our kids were hard-pressed to add 2 and 2 and come up with 4 while Japanese kids could do Calculus in seconds with the power of their mighty brains. After coming to Japan, let's say that I've been rather dissuaded from the notion that their math

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Will Miss #80 - a lack of religious judgment

The Japanese are ostensibly Buddhist or Shinto in their religion, but the truth is that the vast majority just go through the rituals at various holidays with no real depth of spiritual feeling. Except for the odd Jehovah's Witness who rings your doorbell, life in Japan is mercifully devoid of proselytizers and people who tell you that you have to concern yourself with their particular religion's

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Won't Miss #80 - being offered green cards

Because I'm using the internet from I.P. addresses which are recognized as being in Japan, I'm constantly getting advertising for green cards in America or sites telling me that I can become an American citizen.I won't miss these constant (and almost certainly shady) offers to become a citizen of a country of which I'm already a citizen.

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Will Miss #79 - legal bootlegging

Everyone knows that bootleg recordings of concerts are sold through various sources worldwide. In the U.S., I used to buy these through various gray market sources via mail order. Occasionally, I'd run across the odd shop which stocked some bootlegs in some hippy area, but it was uncommon for such shops to stock only bootlegs or a plethora of them. In Tokyo, there are shops that sell nothing but

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Won't Miss #79 - Japanese don't jaywalk myth

One of the most enduring and absolutely false myths is that the Japanese are so law-abiding that they will stand at a crosswalk in the dead of night on a deserted street and wait for the little man to go green and allow them to walk. The notion is that they are more concerned with not breaking the law than the point of that law. Trust me when I say that I see people crossing on a "don't walk"

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Will Miss #78 - pop cross-cultural promotions

I love seeing Western pop culture icons like the Simpsons being used in Japan to promote things. Part of this is the familiarity, but a bigger part of it is the sense that I'm seeing something special which I wouldn't see in similar promotions back home. This probably harks back to my days of collecting Japanese releases of the rock band KISS. Even though the music was the same, the packaging and

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Won't Miss #78 - having my Japanese mocked

The other day, I said "konnichiwa" (good day) to some people in the neighborhood as I was walking to a local shop and they said it back, but then just after my back was to them, they very loudly made fun of the way I said it. The care which they took to make sure they mocked me within earshot made it clear they wanted me to be embarrassed. Between the foreigners who correct my Japanese and the

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Will Miss #77 - senior driver warnings

Japan has done something that the AARP would never allow in the United States. It has created a system which tags senior drivers with a decal (currently a tear drop which is half orange and yellow, but this will change soon). This allows other people who see them to exercise some caution because of the different driving habits of older people. Japan recognizes and acts on a reality, and that's

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Won't Miss #77 - ridiculous butter prices

I'm not a big butter eater, but I do like to bake and cook. I particularly like to make things like peanut butter cookies as gifts for friends and students and to cook pork and chicken in a little butter. Starting a few years ago, butter prices, which hovered around 270 yen (about $2.70 USD) for 200 grams (2 sticks/1 cup) leaped up to around 400 yen ($4) for the same quantity. At that time, there

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Will Miss #76 - custom "cards"

When I receive a card for any type of occasion in Japan, at least half of the time (if not more), the card is something custom or customized. It's very common, for instance, for Japanese people to write on a fan or to write on a large square of cardboard. Often, doodles or drawings will be added to a conventional greeting card or the aforementioned cardboard squares.These cards feel more special

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Won't Miss #76 - earthquakes

I realize there are earthquakes in many places around the world, but I haven't lived in any of those areas and am not accustomed to experiencing the world shake around me at such relatively frequent intervals. Japan is located on the "Pacific Ring of Fire" and therefore experiences more quakes than places like California. Since I have no plans on moving to another location on the Ring of Fire in

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Will Miss #75 - parasol use

Japanese women are nuts about avoiding the sun. Having "white skin" is seen as aesthetically more desirable than having a tan. To this end, you often see women using parasols when the sun is out, and even sometimes when it is not. There's something quaint and charming about this habit. It even has the air of old world feminine behavior. Though I've seen parasols being used for years here, it

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Won't Miss #75 - apologists

If a cab driver in America said that he often didn't pick up Hispanic people seeking a ride because he could tell by looking at a particular person that he or she could not speak English very well, there is every chance that any but the most hardened bigot would take issue with such a ludicrous assertion. It's even less unlikely that a Hispanic person would defend the cab driver for his

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Will Miss #74 - being a working housewife

In the U.S., my husband and I were hard-pressed to afford our own apartment on our combined incomes at full-time jobs (granted, we lived in silicon valley in California). In Japan, we've been able to do fine by having one of us work part-time and the other work full-time throughout most of our stay, and this is despite the fact that we live in one of the most expensive cities in the world. He

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Won't Miss #74 - butts in bushes

During my earlier days in Japan, I used to work in Shinjuku, a major business district in Tokyo. On the corner near my office, there was a bowling-ball sized and shaped ashtray half-full of water. People would casually toss their cigarettes in there all day until it filled up and the water wasn't sufficient to put out the cigarettes. It smoldered and stunk badly. Those ashtrays were removed at

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Will Miss #73 - being seen as "special" for no good reason

It is my opinion that many foreigners (of non-Asian descent) fall in love with and ultimately become addicted to life in Japan because they can be spectacularly ordinary, but are viewed as extraordinary merely by existing in this particular geographic location. People are more interested in you. You're often treated deferentially or invited to dinner, drinks, or parties even if you have no or a

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Won't Miss #73 - the gaijin salary myth

Most Japanese people believe that foreigners are lavishly paid. I can't speak to how the myth that we're rolling in yen got started, but I can explain to some extent what it is based on. First of all, foreigners are paid on a monthly basis as are Japanese people. The difference is that many foreigners do not receive twice yearly seasonal bonuses like Japanese people do. In essence, the Japanese

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Will Miss #72 - kinako

Kinako is toasted soybean powder. It tastes a bit nutty and has a distinctive flavor. Though I rarely use kinako powder for anything other than mochi, I am fortunate to have access to a wide variety of foods which use it as a flavoring. Chances are that I will be able to buy kinako powder, but not the foods that are flavored with it.I'll miss kinako snacks after I leave Japan.

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Won't Miss #72 - tatami

There is no doubt in my mind that the use of tatami used to serve Japanese people well. In humid subtropical climates, I'm told that it helps with moisture and possibly even the heat. Unfortunately, it doesn't serve nearly so well in modern life. For one thing, the time when you can get by with a fan, a slice of salted watermelon, and wearing a yukata on the porch to cope with summer weather

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Will Miss #71 - dressed up statues

When you first see a statue at a little shrine or temple dressed in modern clothes, it looks like someone has been playing a sacrilegious joke. The truth is that they are adorning the statue in red in accord with the meaning of the color in Shinto and Buddhist culture. In Japan, red is seen as driving off demons or disease. Red bibs, hats, etc. on statues of deities has spiritual significance,

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Won't Miss #71 - socialized medicine (the abuse)

The piece of clip art pictured in this post comes from the front of the national health insurance guide. It nicely depicts exactly the sort of people who benefit the most from the system, the elderly and people with kids. They benefit because they are the ones who fret the most about health issues and run off to the doctor the most often. The system in Japan has built a culture where people seem

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Will Miss #70 - socialized medicine (on the whole)

Japan has socialized medicine so no one has to worry about medical coverage. If you're working as a salaried employee, the deal is great because your company will pay 50% of the fees (which are about 10-15% of your annual income up to a cap of about $5500). This means there are no hassles for people with pre-existing conditions and people can get regular health maintenance checks. In fact, I'm

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Won't Miss #70 - popcorn prices and availability

For some reason, popcorn kernels are very expensive and hard to find in Japanese markets. Sometimes, you can find a small plastic sleeve with about a cup of kernels, but more often than not you find a Jiffy-Pop style foil pan full of hydrogenated oil for a pretty absurd price considering the portion. While Japanese people aren't the biggest popcorn eaters in the world, it is sold (already popped

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Will Miss #69 - Japanese blonds

In a country where kids get teased for having wavy or curly black hair and adult employees who have dyed their hair a shade of brown have to use a kind of black shoe polish applicator to hide their brown hair during working hours, seeing people who just go for the most shockingly different choice of hair color is inspiring. It's one thing to dye your hair green or fire engine red in countries

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Won't Miss #69 - New Year's Waste

The temples and shrines in Japan have a system designed to help them sell as many good luck charms and New Year's items as possible each year. The way it works is that people are told that they must burn everything from the previous year or they will suffer bad luck. This results in huge piles of last year's flotsam being destroyed in highly polluting fires and essentially wastes the materials

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Will Miss #68 - crosswalk competition

There was a "game" I started playing early on in my stay in Japan as a psychological test. The game is to stand at a crosswalk waiting for a light with a group of people that includes an older (45+) Japanese man and to stand comfortably off to the side of him, but just marginally closer to the crosswalk than he is. Eight times out of ten, he will edge ahead of you. If you nudge a little further

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Won't Miss #68 - uchimizu

Uchimizu is the practice of pouring water on the ground, street or the sidewalk in order to keep dust down or cool the pavement in summer. Originally, this practice was done using collected water from rain and had some spiritual significance in addition to being utilitarian. However, in Tokyo, the effect of pouring a bucket or two of water on the sidewalk is about as useful as a nail file is in

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Will Miss #67 - wagashi

Traditional Japanese sweets, wagashi, come in many shapes, sizes, flavors and colors. One of my favorites are the types that are covered in soft mochi (pounded rice cake) and have a sweet, soft filling. The mochi itself is rather bland and forms a chewy wrapper for the stuff inside. The texture and flavor combination is quite unique, and I really enjoy it.

I'll miss access to fresh

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Won't Miss #67 - the nationality guessing game

A lot of foreign folks complain about being asked if they are American, but the truth is that as an actual American, I'm often asked if I'm something else. Most often, I'm asked if I'm British, followed by Canadian, and on one rare occasion, French. Occasionally, I am asked if I'm American, but the number of times is surprisingly low.I won't miss the way that perfect strangers think they can

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Will Miss #66 - kiddy caravans

It is not the least bit uncommon to see large groups of young kids being escorted en masse around the neighborhood. Sometimes they all have the same backpack. Sometimes the same type of hat, and sometimes the same clothes. This sort of orderly mass movement of youngsters is something I never witnessed back home and the way in which they are dressed to identify them as a part of the group is

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Won't Miss #66 - Japanese pizza

Japanese pizza is so famously bad that I hardly feel the need to explain this. It's not that the toppings, like mayonnaise, corn, tuna, and various fish parts that resemble alien beings, are freaky and weird, though that is a part of it. It's simply that it's so exceptionally rare to get a pizza which is made well from top to bottom. The crusts are usually poor quality and the cheese is rarely

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Will Miss #65 - cheap, excellent internet access

When I first came to Japan, it was quite a bit behind the curve on internet access. It was a few years behind American on basic dial-up and ISDN. At some point in time, Japan went into high gear on getting the infrastructure in place and now access is faster, cheaper, and better than in the United States. Upgrades also appear to come along more often and be of a greater order of magnitude.I'm

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Won't Miss #65 - little or no public seating

For a city where people rely mainly on walking to get where they're going, Tokyo has very few public benches or places to sit down for a short while and take a load off. When I first moved here, there was the occasional, rare bench, but all of them were removed at some point. Now, you're lucky to find some architectural element that you can rest on for awhile. In fact, some areas are specifically

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Will Miss #64 - Western celebrity's Japanese

There's something deliciously satisfying about listening to Jessica Simpson saying, "konnichiwa, Jessica Simpson desu" and "say goodbye to your nikibi" while hawking expensive pimple cream to the Japanese. When a foreign celebrity does a commercial in Japan, they often gargle out a word or two in Japanese. You can tell very little time was spent getting them to learn the words, though some are

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Won't Miss #64 - working Christmas day

Every year I've spent in Japan, I've known that Christmas day won't be a national holiday and that my husband and I will be working. It shouldn't be a big deal, especially at my age, but it always makes me a little melancholy to find myself working as if it were just another day on December 25. It's not that I'm a Christian and it's a holy day to me, but rather having a lifetime of experiences

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Will Miss #63 - plastic food

When I first arrived in Japan, the plastic food on display in front of restaurants was extremely helpful in letting me know what sort of dishes were going to be available if I went inside. Now, I can read most of the menus and cards, but the plastic food itself is still often helpful in knowing about presentation and style. The amazing thing is that most of the time, the plastic version is a

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Won't Miss #63 - no room at the inn

Though it isn't nearly as obvious or omnipresent as it once was, many landlords still do not welcome foreigners. When we first arrived about two decades ago, there were signs in real estate agencies (who in Japan arrange for rental contracts) saying, "no foreigners, no pets, and no prostitutes." These days, there aren't as many signs, but the best rental deals (especially cheap places) are often

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Will Miss #62 - mega foods

Big, obscene amounts of food are sold all over the world, and I'm sure that upon returning to America, I'll see even more of it than I see in Japan. Seeing a mega-food item in America feels grotesque and wasteful. Seeing it in Japan is amusing because most of the people are fairly petite and it's funny to consider them tucking into one of the monstrosities you occasionally see on offer.I'll miss

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Won't Miss #62 - limited lunch meat selection

Sandwiches aren't a big part of food culture in Japan, but people do eat them if you believe that convenience store food is purchased and ingested. Also, markets carry lunch meat, but only in very limited varieties. You can find ham almost anywhere, and occasionally various types of salami, but things like turkey, chicken, etc. are nowhere to be found in sandwich-ready form. The main problem for

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Will Miss #61 - "go home kids" music

Everyday around 5:00 pm, some unknown and unseen force in my neighborhood plays a little tune. I've been told that this music is played at that point in time to remind kids who are outside playing to go home. I will always associate this daily public music with life in Japan. The first month that I stayed with my boyfriend (now husband) in Tokyo, I heard this music everyday while he was at work

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Won't Miss #61 - aggressive bike bell ringers

About 90% of people on bicycles are generally not too obnoxious, but there is a minority which feels that the sidewalk belongs to them and aggressively ring their bells from a mile away in a vain attempt to clear the path ahead. They do this so they can barrel down the street without stopping. Some older men actually ring their bells constantly with a few seconds between each ring as they head

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Will Miss #60 - food that looks like (other) Japanese food

When I was in the U.S., I saw food that was meant to look like other things, but often it was designed for kids or, if it was designed for adults, it was pretty cheesy or tacky. In Japan, there is a plethora of highly-detailed and relatively sophisticated food that resembles other types of food. For instance, trays of chocolates that resemble trays of sushi or candy designed to look like a bento

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Won't Miss #60 - heat that never quits

high temperatures are on top, lows on the bottom, and the current in the upper rightEvery summer, I read all of the advice about how to survive the heat without an air conditioner, and laugh. Things like opening your windows at night to cool your home down and closing them and curtains during the day to keep the heat out only works if you actually experience a cool down at night. In Tokyo in

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Will Miss #59 - kimono wearers

You don't often see women wearing kimono around Tokyo except on special holidays (like adulthood day in January) or when people are attending special events. I've been told that kimono are hot, heavy, difficult to walk in, and almost impossible to put on by yourself. Still, seeing Japanese women walk around in them is a reminder that the culture retains its exotic nature and most women look great

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Won't Miss #59 - gaijin "experts" on Japan

Every foreigner you meet or who blogs is an expert on Japan. People who come here for a few weeks for a vacation feel they know enough to inform you about the people and the culture. People who have lived here for a few years think they have the inside scoop. I've lived here for over 20 years, and there are still new things I'm learning every week. That being said, I think it's fair to say that I

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Will Miss #58 - freaking out kids

Japanese kids are far more likely to stare, point, or obviously direct their attention toward foreigners. They have less control over their behavior, and frankly, a lot of their parents don't do much to break them of their bad habits. Given that kids are acting impulsively, you have several options to deal with them. You can ignore them. You can pointlessly get angry, or you can do something

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Won't Miss #58 - pachinko

I don't play pachinko and, in theory, I don't mind if other people do so. In practice, I hate pachinko parlors. They're always garishly designed and decorated so they're a visual blight. When you walk by them, someone is usually walking in or out and you get a huge blast of obnoxious noise from the machines and lots of stale, disgusting smoke. It's like walking past an ashtray the size of a

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Will Miss #57 - computer displays in trains

On the newer trains in Tokyo, there are computerized displays showing you ads and information about where the train is going and when it's going to get there. The newest ones are essentially little T.V. screens. While I'm no fan of seeing commercials, sometimes they're entertaining, but the more important point is that running ads on these displays is less wasteful than papering the train with

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Won't Miss #57 - drunkenness as an excuse

If something rude, stupid, or reckless is done under the influence of alcohol, the Japanese are likely to see being drunk as a reasonable excuse. Their culture doesn't seem to hold people as responsible for their actions if they are drunk, even though the drinker made the choice to drink and put themselves in a position to harm others either mentally or physically.I won't miss people viewing

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Will Miss #56 - surgical masks

Despite how long I've lived here, I continue to be amused by the large numbers of people wearing surgical masks. The weave on the masks is too loose to keep out most viruses and doesn't do anything to protect people from catching the flu or colds. Though it will protect cold and flu sufferers from transmitting their diseases, most people aren't aware they're sick until they're symptomatic and

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Won't Miss #56 - slow payers

Easily 50% of the customers who are in line in front of me at shops seem to have no idea that some sort of money will be required after the cashier has rung up their goods. Some of them stand there in deep and solemn meditation and others engage in idle chit-chat until every item has passed the scanner and then, and only then, do they open their wallets or purses to begin the long and arduous

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Will Miss #55 - mochi

It took me awhile to warm up to the idea of mochi, but now I'm a big fan. It's not so much about the flavor as the texture, though you can add various other sauces and powders to make it more interesting on the taste front.I'll miss having mochi whenever I'm in the mood and in a variety of ways.

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Won't Miss #55 - hanko

The Japanese don't use signatures on official documents. They use a personal seal (inkan) which has been registered with the local government office called a hanko. Every time we sign official documents in Japan, someone asks us if we have a hanko. We don't, and it gets tiresome dealing with the clucking and disapproving wind sucking that results from our saying we don't have one. Yes, we could

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Will Miss #54 - harsh no smoking rules

When we first arrived in Japan, it was a smoker's paradise. Every restaurant had a small, ineffective no smoking area and a big smoking area. People walked on the streets smoking and puffing in your face and burning you with errant cigarettes. Now, there are far fewer smoker friendly establishments and many neighborhoods have smoking prohibitions in place on the streets.I will miss the way in

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Won't Miss #54 - washing my trash

Part of dealing with trash in Japan involves having to process it. You have to wash out Styrofoam and plastic containers. PET bottles must be washed, have their labels and caps removed and then crushed. Cardboard milk cartons must be washed and cut so that they can be flattened. I don't mind the crushing and cutting, but I am tired of washing garbage along with my dishes, especially in light of

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Will Miss #53 - funky sculpture thing

On one of my neighborhood's backstreets, there is a tubular sculpture that has been there as long as I can remember. I'm not sure what its purpose is, but it serves several. Kids play on it by climbing it and hanging off of it. Adults (including me) comfortably sit in the dip in the loop. And, it adds visual interest to a relatively mundane area.I'll miss this little sculpture where one would

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Won't Miss #53 - that darn cat

Okay, I get it. Hello Kitty and all of her little pals are cute, but enough is enough. I've seen that cat everywhere for two decades now and now the only thing that comes to mind is "I Have No Mouth and I Must Scream." Once an image's exposure in a culture is so saturated, it simply fails to have much of an impact anymore.I won't miss seeing that darn cat everywhere.

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Will Miss #52 - getting around by bike

While parking for any length of time is difficult, being able to get around by bike is pretty appealing because it is legal to travel on the sidewalks in most areas of Tokyo. That means you don't have to compete with cars and worry about getting run down. You get exercise while you run errands. The cost of maintaining a bike is low, and you can pay more attention to your surroundings. In fact,

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Won't Miss #52 - bicycle parking problems

Bike rent-a-cops load illegally parked bicycles onto their truck. They'll be taken to an impound lot and people will have to pay about $30 to get them back.For a country that is trying hard to reduce emissions, it sure is hostile to bicycle parking and therefore makes using a bike less appealing. When I first arrived in Japan, I could ride and park my bike anywhere. Now, I can't park it anywhere

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Will Miss #51 - shoe removal culture

Contrary to popular belief, many Americans do take their shoes off upon entering their homes. However, it is not an ingrained part of the culture so much as a personal choice. Because of this, you sometimes get people arguing or complaining when you ask them to remove their shoes upon entering your home. In Japan, everyone takes their shoes off at the door as a matter of course, so it's never

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Won't Miss #51 - necessity of following the weather news

Back home, I never had to concern myself with the weather. The walk between the front door and the car wasn't even long enough to justify an umbrella, and looking out the window at the drifts of snow was enough to tell me how to dress in winter. In Tokyo, I not only need to worry about carrying a brolly, but I also have to structure shopping, shoe choices, and laundry around the weather (

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Will Miss #50 - school uniforms

I like the concept of school uniforms and the way in which they simplify and unify the appearance of all of the kids at a particular school. I know that a lot of Western folks feel that forcing kids to wear them strips away their individuality, but the truth is that most Japanese people have fond memories of their uniforms. Most of them liked the fact that they didn't have to shop for expensive

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Won't Miss #50 - anime-style advertising

I've never been a big fan of anime style artwork and I have more than had my fill of giant-eyed, absurdly-proportioned art from living in Japan. Personally, I find the style a bit creepy because it seems to be depicting people in an infantile fashion (big eyes, big heads) while also sexualizing them.I won't miss seeing this style in advertising on a daily basis.

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Will Miss #49 - people doing their own thing

Sometimes, you'll see someone in Tokyo who just does his or her own thing. They'll just dance in a public place as if they were in the privacy of their own living room or sing out loud to the music on their headphones (or both). I always enjoy this sort of bold display in a country where sticking out is frowned upon.I'll miss seeing people who don't mind marching to the beat of a different

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Won't Miss #49 - frozen construction

For a country that can put up a skyscraper in under a year, Japan sure has some issues finishing construction in well-trafficked, isolated spots. One of the platforms at Shinjuku station has been covered with taped down temporary rubber flooring for more than a year. There's a swing set in a backstreet near our home which took a month to finish because the workers left the "wet paint" signs up

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Will Miss #48 - sleep anywhere

Some of the best pictures of life in Japan show people sleeping in strange ways and in strange places. Seeing the well-dressed, sophisticated people in Tokyo sleeping anywhere and everywhere is a quirk of life that always amuses me a bit.I'll miss seeing people bunk down wherever they feel like it.

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Won't Miss #48 - instant dust

Tokyo may not have as much smog as a big city in China, but it still has a lot of pollution. Despite living in an area surrounded by concrete with nary a dirt plot in sight, the surfaces in my apartment are visibly covered with dust within 4-8 hours of my dusting them off.I won't miss the instant and constant re-dusting of my apartment.

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Will Miss #47 - tiny watermelons

Though I'm not happy about the price of fruit in Japan, I am happy with the fact that you can buy relatively small watermelons. My husband doesn't like them and we have no one to parcel the fruit out to. Small melons take me 4-6 days to eat by myself, so I'm pretty happy to get one.I'll miss being able to buy watermelon for one.

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Won't Miss #47 - air conditioners set for reptilian biology

Both my husband and I have worked for Japanese companies for quite some time and there is always a big problem because of the air conditioner settings. While the average foreign person prefers it colder than the average Japanese person, even Japanese men find the settings preferred by the office ladies to be too hot. Some of them seem to be cold-blooded creatures based on their need to remain in

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Will Miss #46 - Hachiko

I don't go to Shibuya very often, but there's something about the statue of Hachiko that always warms the heart. The story of the dog that waited for his master's return at the station for years after his death brings to mind the best aspects of man's best friend and how animals almost certainly do have feelings similar to those of humans.I'll miss Hachiko, and the story the statue brings to mind.

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Won't Miss #46 - washing in cold water

Japanese washing machines, by default, do not have hot or warm water settings. The only way you can choose to wash clothes in hot water is to buy a special washing machine which costs a great deal more than a regular machine. While I'm happy 80% of the time to use cold water for laundry, it would be nice to at least occasionally choose hot water washing for whites or other items that would

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Will Miss #45 - New Year's Trinkets

Every year, we visit the local shrine and pick up some little souvenir or another as a memento of the Chinese year's representative animal. Sometimes it's a little ceramic bell shaped like an animal. Sometimes it's one of the wooden plaques that New Year's wishes are written on. Occasionally, it's one of the good luck charms.I'm going to miss this rare, small frivolous expenditure on a New Year's

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Won't Miss #45 - pitiful economies of scale

It's quite rare in Japan to find any sort of meaningful discount when you purchase a larger quantity of some item. For instance, if one cheesecake bar is 299 yen, 5 of them are 1495 yen. There's usually no bargain or a very tiny and inconsequential one if you buy a lot.I won't miss this lack of appreciable economies of scale.

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Will Miss #44 - Akiyoshi yakitori-ya

a "tori-ju" and 5 sticks of sasami from AkiyoshiThere's a chain of yakitori restaurants in Japan called Akiyoshi that my husband and I have been fans of since shortly after we arrived here. Their grilling method is just right and they have excellent sauce. In our first few years here, we found it hard to resist going there once a week with coworkers after days that ended at 9:00 pm.Though we go

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Won't Miss #44 - filing 2 tax returns

If you're American and reside in Japan, you have to file income tax forms in both countries. Every year, we have to slog through filling out two sets of annoying forms. Unless you make a pile of money, you don't have to pay taxes in both countries, but filing is still a pain in the backside.I won't miss doubling my tax fun every year.

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Will Miss #43 - liberal ideas about birth control

While America has its highly ineffective abstinence movement, Japan has condoms available everywhere. There's a condom vending machine about 2 minutes from our apartment in case anyone has an urgent need and is too shy to ask at a drug store. In fact, I don't even know if condoms are sold in drug stores in Japan since they're so easy to get in other places.

I'll miss the liberal and pragmatic

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Won't Miss #43 - girly mags everywhere

Pornography and psuedo-pornography (e.g., rape and nudity in comic books) is all over the place in Tokyo. It's sold in boxes on the streets and you see men reading variations on it on the trains everyday. While I have absolutely no problem with people spending their time at home looking at whatever floats their boat, I don't like watching people ogle porn while I'm crammed in next to them on a

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Will Miss #42 - fine bean cakes

I've never been a tremendous fan of the coarse red bean cakes that are commonly sold in markets and bakeries in Japan. I don't dislike them, but they're not the sorts of things I'd actively seek out. On the other hand, the bean cakes full of more finely processed and delicate beans that are often sold in department stores or as souvenirs are a favorite of mine. In particular, the white and

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Won't Miss #42 - Disney obsession

I know that a lot of people all over the world enjoy Disney-themed parks and products. In Japan, however, there seems to be a higher level of Disney obsession and it seems to cross age barriers. It's not unusual to see adult women in particular carrying around Disney character trinkets, bags, and supplies. Seeing these themes all over the place in Japan always fills me with a sense that the

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Will Miss #41 - no tipping

At the end of a meal in Japan, you don't have to leave anything on the table except your empty dishes. The Japanese don't practice the custom of tipping except in specific instances, and never in restaurants that I know of. While I don't have a problem with the practice of tipping in theory, in practice, it often feels like you're bribing your server to do a good job.I will miss not having to

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Won't Miss #41 - willy nilly food serving

When you go to a restaurant in Tokyo with one or more other people in your party, there is a good chance that you will be sitting together, but you won't be eating together for the duration of the meal. In most American restaurants, each course of food is served to everyone in the party at the same time. For example, everyone gets their entree at the same time. This allows everyone to roughly

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Will Miss #40 - dressing up for the girls

When one of my female students shows up dressed to the nines, I know that she's going to meet her friends after the lesson. Japanese women are much more likely to put on make-up and nice clothes for female friends when they get together than they are for anyone else including coworkers and even boyfriends or husbands. I love how they do this, though I personally couldn't be bothered.I'll miss

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Won't Miss #40 - small refrigerator

When we first moved to Japan, we had one of those really tiny refrigerators like many single people in small apartments do. It was the sort that allowed you to store enough food for 2 days worth of meals and a few drinks, tops. We eventually upgraded to a "big" fridge which is about half the size of your average American one. Because I cook nearly every meal at home, this has been a major hassle

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Will Miss #39 - walking to shops, the pleasure

Having to walk to do my regular shopping is nice while walking down the local backstreets when it's peaceful and quiet, and the weather is nice. It also allows me to get exercise without going to a gym. It can be a zen experience when you're in the mood to take it in and the universe hands you optimal conditions.I'll miss the peaceful walks to the local markets and the exercise that comes along

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Won't Miss #39 - walking to shops, the pain

Having to walk (or ride a bicycle) to shop forces you to carry a lot of stuff with you on the way home. If you buy a lot of heavy things like soda, certain heavy vegetables, milk, etc., you can easily be weighed down with an extra 20 pounds. If you want to buy something really big, you have to awkwardly balance it on your bike to struggle to haul it along as you walk with difficulty if you can't

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Will Miss #38 - free Krispy Kreme donuts in line

Krispy Kreme branches in Tokyo which have long lines have a staff member come out and give away free, fresh, warm glazed donuts to those standing in line. Some people who only wanted to pop in and eat one donut will eat the freebie and just go home without ever having to bother to go into the shop. Others can simply enjoy a sugary treat to sustain them during the long wait.I'll miss this free

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Won't Miss #38 - icing down salad greens

From the middle to the end of the long Tokyo summer, the water starts to come out of the tap quite warm. It's so warm that I have to put ice into the water when I wash salad greens to stop the warmth from wilting the lettuce.I won't miss having to waste the ice or hassle with adding steps to an already tedious domestic task.

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Will Miss #37 - Japanese peaches

Back in the U.S., I wasn't a fan of peaches. There was something about the flavor that just didn't do it for me, but I love Japanese peaches. The skins pull off easily and their flavor is mellow. They're a bit expensive, but I buy them as often as possible when they're priced relatively reasonably.I'll miss these yummy peaches.

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Won't Miss #37 - massively crowded festivals

Every year, there are a couple of big festivals in my neighborhood. The street becomes so densely packed that my students, who travel this street to reach my apartment, are late for lessons. While I'm not troubled by this, it's no fun at all for them. Navigating the street when the festivals are on is difficult and frustrating. It's also noisy and hot.I won't miss this tendency to cram about a

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Will Miss #36 - people with crooked teeth

One of the things I noticed early on in my stay in Japan is that, compared to the U.S., a lot of people never had their crooked teeth fixed. Unless one plans to be a model, television personality, etc., it's relatively rare for Japanese people to bother to get braces. They simply aren't that hung up on having perfectly straight teeth and are okay with the way they look naturally.I love the way

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Won't Miss #36 - peace symbol pictures

I've seen oceans of pictures of Japanese people and vast seas of them are little more than people holding up the peace symbol. Picture after picture is the same pose. When you ask people why they do that, they just say "peace", as if that says it all.I won't miss the repetition of the same pose in picture after picture.

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Will Miss #35 - being a "millionaire"

There's something really cool about saying you made "millions" last year. In America, chances are I'll never be able to talk about making a million anything (unless it's pennies). In Japan, even relatively modestly paid people gross around 2.5-3 million yen a year.I'll miss the psychological satisfaction of being a "millionaire" of some sort, even when it doesn't really mean all that much in real

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Won't Miss #35 - not having a proper oven

People who live in houses often have proper ovens, but it's relatively rare for rental apartments to have them. In fact, you are lucky if you actually get a built-in gas table and don't have to provide your own (we provided our own). Our oven is a dual-purpose microwave/oven which works pretty well, but it is very small. You can make a relatively small chicken in it and one square cookie sheet

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Will Miss #34 - Japanese political advertisments

Japanese political advertisements are often a source of amusement for both my husband and I. Someone, somewhere who designs a portion of these things believes that horribly staged, ridiculous poses convey the notion that one should elect these people to positions of power.I'll miss these funny political posters.

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Won't Miss #34 - Japanese politicians

All politics can be boring, frustrating and tedious, but Japanese politics seems worse. Part of the reason for this is that the politicians commit crimes and engage in cronyism and nepotism quite egregiously, but they continue to get re-elected. They also say the stupidest things like women are "baby machines". This can be attributed in part to voter apathy, but the truth is that I think most

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Will Miss #33 - weird KitKat flavors

Everyone knows about Japanese KitKats. Entire blogs and import businesses are set up around them. Frankly, I've sampled more than 50 varieties and more of them are "meh" than fabulous, but that's not really the point. The point is the variety and waiting to see if you are going to be shocked, appalled, or pleasantly surprised.I'll miss all of the strange KitKats and the frequency with which

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Won't Miss #33 - pet bottles, everywhere

Someone told the population in Tokyo that putting old PET bottles full of water around their property would stop cats from wandering onto their property and urinating. I think that cats are supposed to be put off by seeing their own reflection in the bottles. Because of this, you see rows of plastic bottles on walls, around property lines, and surrounding gardens. It looks stupid and ugly, and I

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Will Miss #32 - such clean people, the truth

In light of the previous post, one might wonder how urban areas stay so clean when people throw litter around. The truth is that someone is always cleaning up after everyone else. In particular, shopkeepers and janitorial staff for large buildings are sweeping, picking up, and keeping areas nice and clean on a regular basis. While many Japanese people don't respect the cleanliness of other

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Won't Miss #32 - such clean people, the lie

Both Japanese and non-Japanese alike remark on how clean Japan's big cities are, and this is true. Generally speaking, Tokyo is remarkably clean. The lie comes in when people attribute this cleanliness to some innate quality of the Japanese people. This is simply not true. I've seen more overt littering in Tokyo than I ever saw when I lived in America. Drink cans are left on the sidewalk, garbage

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Will Miss #31 - wooden boxes you drink out of

I don't drink alcohol of any sort, but I love the fact that the Japanese have a culture where they drink sake out of a wooden box. It's just a very cool idea and adds a certain earthiness to the imbibing. I'd love to buy a bunch of these boxes before returning and use them to plant stuff in. Well, I'd love it if every plant I ever tried to grow didn't die.I'll miss those neat boxes that they

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Won't Miss #31 - culture of victim-hood

In Japan, the part of World War II that they talk about to the near exclusion of all else is the part where atomic bombs were dropped on them. The children aren't taught the full history of the war and Japan's role in the war as a brutal occupier of other Asian countries, an ally of the Axis powers, or as an aggressor toward the United States is very rarely (if ever) discussed. In essence,

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Will Miss #30 - saying anything in public

After you spend awhile in a country where the vast majority of people don't understand what you're saying, you start to lose the public speaking self-censorship that was second nature back home. You swear anywhere, anytime. You talk about your body's more disgusting output in ways you might not normally. And, you sometimes remark on the bad behavior or odors of people around you in a manner which

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Won't Miss #30 - Japanese cheese

There are two kinds of Japanese cheese. There is the real and the very expensive sort sold in tiny packages for insane prices, and there is processed cheese. Processed cheese, far and away, dominates the marketplace and real cheese is generally available only as cheddar, Gouda or mozzarella. For every dainty pack of real cheddar, there are at least 3 types of plastic-wrapped slices. The processed

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A Brief Off-Topic Post

Some of the readers from my former personal blog mentioned that they would miss my recipes, so I thought I would mention that I will be posting new recipes on a blog I share with my friend called "Carl's Kitchen". I won't be posting regularly because I don't come up with new recipes that often, but if you want to see what's cooking in the flower's house, you can subscribe to Carl's Kitchen.I now

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Will Miss #29 - statues of the colonel

For reasons I've never been clear on, there are plastic or plaster statues of Colonel Saunders in front of nearly every KFC in Japan. During certain holidays, they put costumes on him (Santa, traditional Japanese garb). There's something both a little creepy and cool about this welcoming mannequin.I'll miss the weirdness of seeing the Colonel immortalized in cheap materials and in high gloss

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Won't Miss #29 - "Japan Has 4 Seasons"

Guess the season being shown in the picture above. It'll be tough since Tokyo looks like this 2/3 of the year.*One of the earliest assertions about Japan's uniqueness that Japanese people will make when you talk to them about their country is that "Japan has 4 seasons." For some reason, most of them think their country is the only one in the world that experiences an appreciably different weather

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Will Miss #28 - copyright infringement

The copyright laws are different in Japan so you find that the ludicrously long duration on some copyrights by big businesses (*cough*Disney*cough*) in America are not an issue here. Also, Japan isn't as litigious as the U.S. so relatively small acts of infringement tend not to get copyright lawyers' undies wadded up into such big bunches. Knowing that big business can't buy the political

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Won't Miss #28 - aggressive drivers

I once had a student write in his homework that cars were the "kings" of the road so pedestrians had better yield to them. By law in Japan, pedestrians have the right of way, but you wouldn't know it by the behavior of most drivers. When the pedestrian lights change to "walk", drivers are flooring it over the crosswalk for quite some time. Cars also zoom out of super narrow side streets with no

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Will Miss #27 - 100 yen shops

I try to avoid 100 yen shops in Japan, but not because there is anything wrong with them. I try to avoid them so I won't buy all of the cheap, cool stuff tucked away inside. They have vast sections of office supplies, cheap interior decor items, garden supplies, home improvement items, and much more. Some of them also sell food. I know there are dollar stores back in America, but they don't tend

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Won't Miss #27 - being stared at

I realize that Japanese people can't help but look at people who are appreciably different from themselves, and I don't begrudge them a quick glance. However, a lot of people will just stare long and hard at me as if they are viewing me from behind a one-way mirror where I can't see them, but they can see me. Even staring right back at them won't dissuade them from their gawking.I definitely

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Will Miss #26 - humorous misspellings

I've seen pictures of plenty of misspelled signs in America, but they don't carry the same charm as those in Japan. In America, it's just sad that people aren't educated enough to spell basic words properly. In Japan, it's smile-worthy in the same way that a child misspeaking a word can be. It's an innocent error based on language differences rather than a product of ignorance and laziness.I'll

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Won't Miss #26 - idols

There seems to be a never-ending supply of cookie-cutter idols in the manufactured "star" business. I know the same occurs all around the world, but the Japanese ones are less polished than those I've had the misfortune to catch a glimpse of from other countries. When you see them dance on T.V., they look like they're fighting some sort of rhythm impairment disorder. They also all look pretty

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Will Miss #25 - Japanese postal service

I've had one epically stupid experience with the Japanese postal service and hundreds of relatively mundane good experiences. The main ward post office is open late at night and on weekends so you can send and receive items after work with ease. The Japanese postal service also is extremely reliable. My husband and I have sent literally hundreds of packages and letters to and from Japan and not

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Won't Miss #25 - mailbox junkmail bombing

In America, it's illegal for people to walk up to your mailbox and just cram advertising in it. This is the reason why restaurants in big cities hang menus on your door handle rather than cram them in the mailbox. In Japan, anyone can cram anything they like into your mailbox. If you go away on vacation for a week, you're likely to return to a box that is bursting at the seams with advertising of

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Will Miss #24 - public pajama wearers

Japanese people on rare occasions go out in public in their pajamas. The first time I saw this was a young man and his girlfriend wearing their pajamas to a convenience store around 11:00 pm. I guess that they wanted a snack and didn't feel like going to the trouble of changing. I've also seen it on occasion in other circumstances, and I always get a kick out of their willingness to put

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Won't Miss #24 - bigoted taxis

Though it is rarer in hard economic times, some taxi drivers in Tokyo will not pick up foreign passengers. This happens more frequently later in the evening or when there is high demand for taxis. They have excuses that range from the rational to the ridiculous, but if any such excuse were offered in a Western country, it'd be labeled for what it is.I won't miss this overtly bigoted behavior on

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Will Miss #23 - relationship with my students

My students are all nice people who come to my apartment and share their lives. English teachers don't just teach English. They also act as counselors and confidantes. You aren't exactly friends with your students, but you are often privy to the same level of information intimacy as a friend might be. For Japanese people, their English teachers are an information dead end and they can tell you

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Won't Miss #23 - people shouting outside of shops

All too often, people stand outside of shops in Japan shouting about the products sold inside. More often than not, they tell you the same thing over and over and over again. They also often relay information which is amply demonstrated by signs or obvious visual cues. This cacophony just makes being near the store for any length of time an annoying experience. They often drive me away from the

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Will Miss #22 - station shopping malls

In most train stations, there are shopping areas of varying sizes. If you're lucky, a transfer which involves walking a long distance will include a plethora of interesting places to peek into. While I rarely stop and shop, it's still cool to see what sort of places surround you. Sometimes there are odd little places that will take you by surprise and sometimes there are mundane places which are

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Won't Miss #22 - pretty, but bland pastries

There are a lot of impressive looking pastries being sold in Japan. They're like beautiful little trinkets, but a lot of them are pretty flavorless. I'm told time and again by Japanese people that they like subtle flavors, and I think the cake shops reflect this preference. I'm not just talking about a lack of sugar, but also a lack of strong chocolate, strawberry, coffee, etc. flavors in cakes.I

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Will Miss #21 - not carrying a purse

I haven't carried a purse since my first year in Japan. Very quickly you realize that you have two choices. You can carry an endless parade of shopping bags which dig into your fingers over the long haul (and there are lots of long hauls in Tokyo) or you can just wear a backpack everywhere and mule your stuff around more comfortably. While most Japanese people favor fashionable shopping bags and

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Won't Miss #21 - roaches

Perhaps I was lucky in my pre-Japan life, but I never lived with roaches in the U.S. In Tokyo, no matter what I do, I see a roach or two each summer and they always show up at the worst time. For instance, one slowly crawled across my wall during a private English lesson. Others crawl across the kitchen wall at 3:00 am so that seeing one and hunting it down and killing it creates a huge

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Will Miss #20 - Danish bread

(that's my husband, who takes most of the pictures for this blog, reflected in the glass)About a 4 minute bike ride from our apartment, there's a small German bakery. They make a little round bread which is swirled with butter and just enough honey to make it lightly sweet. They call it "Danish bread" and it's incredible when it's warm and fresh. The texture is fluffy, but also flaky. I don't

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Won't Miss #20 - wedding extortion

The wedding industry is a beast almost everywhere that it exists as a money-making enterprise, but the Japanese have added an extra layer of pain to it. "Guests" are expected to pay for a party they didn't choose to throw, but are often obliged to attend. Relatively young, single, fully employed people are expected to fork over 30,000 yen (about $300 USD) for the privilege of attending the

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Will Miss #19 - New Year's being a true holiday

Back home, I never felt much at all about New Year's. It just seemed like a lame excuse to party, get drunk, and make resolutions that you knew you weren't going to keep. It was a second-rate holiday after days like Christmas, Thanksgiving, and Halloween. While I've never been hugely enthusiastic about New Year's in Japan, I do enjoy that it is a real holiday here and tend to investigate the

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Won't Miss #19 - lack of whole grain baked goods

When it comes to consuming whole grain baked goods in Japan, you have two choices. You can buy tiny slices (about 1/2 the size of a regular piece of bread) in 3-slice packs that cost more than 8 huge slices of white bread or you can make it yourself. Of course, making it yourself means paying a pretty penny for whole wheat flour and going to some trouble. Brown bread just isn't a priority for the

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Will Miss #18 - weird station art

For some reason, there is a lot of strange artwork in train and subway stations in Tokyo. Some of it is tacky. Some is strange. Some is even nice looking. And some is simply incomprehensible. There's something appealing about it even when it's utterly unlikeable because you know some artist was commissioned for the work and they know that thousands (if not millions) of people will be looking at

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Won't Miss #18 - high price of fresh fruit

Japan is well-known for its monstrously over-priced gift-wrapped fruit, but even pedestrian offerings are pretty expensive. You're getting off about as cheap as possible if you can find 6 bananas for 100 yen in Tokyo. Apples are "cheap" if they can be had for 100 yen apiece. Forget about ever "wasting" your fresh fruit on such luxuries as baking a pie. It's just not worth the cost or sacrifice.

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Will Miss #17 - paid transportation fees

When you work at a Japanese company, most of them will pay for your transportation fees. Usually, they will foot the bill for your train and subway pass. Sometimes, they will also pay for your bus fare (or, on rare occasions, taxis). The passes are supposed to only be used for going back and forth to work, but the truth is that there is no system to enforce this. You can use the pass to freely

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Won't Miss #17 -uncovered, open mouth coughers

For a country which is obsessed with wearing surgical masks when there is a flu epidemic or the cold season is at hand, there are an awful lot of people who cough without covering their mouths. Some of them seem to be determined to project as many germs as possible forward as they hack away with their mouths wide open. There isn't even an effort made to cup their hands over their mouths to stop

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Will Miss #16 - clean public toilets

By and large, Japanese public toilets are quite clean. I'm not sure if this is because the people who use them don't behave like animals or if there are diligent cleaning personnel making sure things stay in pretty good shape. Mind you, there is the occasional smelly or dirty public toilet, but the majority of them are quite clean.I'm going to miss being able to approach publicly accessible

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Won't Miss #16 - the smell of oden

Oden is a popular Japanese conglomeration of foodstuffs boiled in broth. There are plenty of people who adore it. In fact, aside from myself and my husband, I haven't met anyone who doesn't like it. In the winter, 7-11 and other convenience stores as well as open air food stalls sell this stuff. To me, it smells like someone has been boiling an old sock that has had a fish left in it for a week.I

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Will Miss #15 - weird stuff in people's windows

I grew up in the countryside in Pennsylvania. What is more, I grew up around people who didn't want to use their homes as anything but a display of their taste and maturity (or whatever version of those things suited their sensibility). Around Tokyo, I often see strange things in people's windows. One of the people in an apartment not too far from mine has a large collection of dead batteries

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Won't Miss #15 - oppressive humidity

The humidity in Tokyo lasts for months (usually starting in May and not letting up until some time in August... if you're lucky). It's so thick, you feel like you're pushing through it when you walk. It isn't so much that I haven't experienced humid weather on occasion before, but in Tokyo it is relentless. It's there at night. It's there during the day. It's there every day. It makes modestly

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Will Miss #14 - (literal) global perspective shift

Every once in awhile, I'll run across something small and fairly mundane which illustrates beautifully that we're all subtly steered toward a particular mindset as a result of the environment we grow up in. Every map you see printed in a textbook or on a wall map in America shows the U.S. and Europe prominently. In Japan, the globe is shifted so that Japan is the center of view.I'll miss these

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Won't Miss #14 - maid fetishists

Women are put into service in cutesy uniforms in order to cater to the fetishes of men who get off on women in subservient roles. They often treat the men like children in order to pamper them and I find that pretty creepy.I won't miss this sexist and fetishistic display.

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Will Miss #13 - Akihabara's mega-stores

Akihabara has a big concentration of electronics mega-stores. If you want to be dazzled by arrays of computers, televisions, or anything that you plug into a wall socket, you can go there and stroll around the equivalent of mechanical porn. If you're a tech geek, it's like Mecca.I'll miss this uber-concentrated access to all things electronic.

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Won't Miss #13 - cell phone zombies

I know that people all over the world are in love with their cell phones. However, the way in which people in Tokyo believe that it is okay to stare like hypnotized zombies at their phones' display rather than look where they are going makes it troublesome to innocent bystanders. People ride their bikes and do texting. They stop dead in the middle of streets and cramped stairwells blocking

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Will Miss #12 - the kitler at the local liquor shop

There's a kitler that has been waltzing around a liquor shop not too far from our home for a very long time. The friendly people who own the shop even put up a humorous plaque showing a picture of the cat and proclaiming it the shacho (president) of the company.I love this cat and the charm and humor that its presence brings to a normally boring business, and I will surely miss it.

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Won't Miss #12 - my ghastly water heater

Older Japanese buildings were not built with hot water capability in the kitchen. This wasn't because hot water wasn't available in homes since my building is only 25 years old and Japan certainly had the plumbing for hot water heating a quarter century ago. It was because it wasn't seen as a necessity to have hot water available in the kitchen. I'm not sure if they washed dishes with cold water

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Will Miss #11 - city living fantasy

There's something romantic and exciting about having nearly anything you might want a short distance from your home. The scale and scope of it all can be invigorating when you pause and take it all in. There's also a sense of being connected with humanity in a way that you wouldn't if you weren't surrounded by so many people. It's a bit like the opposite of being "one with nature".I'll miss the

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Won't Miss #11 - city living reality

The reality of living in a metropolis is that it is crowded, over-stimulating, expensive, dirty, soul-draining, and noisy. In Tokyo in particular, it seems as though every block has a new building going up or an old one coming down. Someone is always banging, drilling, or scaring up dust. There's also a lot of pollution.I won't miss the reality of living in a concrete jungle.

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Will Miss #10 - weird English T-shirts

Part of the funniness of seeing a Japanese person wearing a shirt with strange English is the underlying notion that they may not have any idea how funny or weird it is (and definitely don't care). While you see people wearing funny shirts back home, the humor is undercut to some extent by the fact that they intend to communicate their humor to you. The latter carries a hint of irony, pretense,

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Won't Miss #10 - contempt for English teachers

If you decide you enjoy teaching in Japan and would like to continue to do such work, the members of the expatriate community will shower you with contempt and prejudice. The members of the Japanese community will underestimate your skill and tell you repeatedly that your job is "easy" because you speak English. The truth is that teaching is tiring work that requires a lot of skill to do well and

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Will Miss #9 - escalator etiquette

The unspoken rule on escalators is that you stand to the left so that anyone in a hurry can walk up or down on the right. You very rarely see someone clogging up the works by standing abreast. While this type of etiquette may be practiced in other countries, it is observed unwaveringly by the Japanese. Anyone who unintentionally violates the rule by not standing as far off to the left as possible

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Won't Miss #9- crowded public transporation

Public transportation is almost always uncomfortable in a variety of ways. Because Tokyo has a high population density, taking a train or subway frequently involves standing on the train as it shakes, sways and swerves and doing so with people who look nice in their suits, but sometimes don't smell so great. Walking through the stations can also be a serious hassle as you attempt to navigate the

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Will Miss #8 - convenient public transportation

Japan has one of the best (if not the best) public transportation systems in the world. You can travel nearly anywhere using trains, subways, buses, and taxis. The trains are usually (but not always) on time, clean, and come at relatively close intervals.I'll miss being able to grab some form of public transportation any time I need to leave my neighborhood.

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Won't Miss #8 - vending machine blight

While the weird vending machines are a curiosity, the overwhelming majority of vending machines in Tokyo are an endless array of drink machines. Sure, it's kind of neat the first time you see hot soup or coffee sold in them in winter or beverages you rarely see back home sold in them. That lasts a short while and then you just see ugly, lighted refrigerators wasting energy, blocking pedestrian

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Will Miss #7 - weird vending machines

During my time in Japan, I've seen some pretty strange things sold in vending machines. From warm bread in a can to umbrellas to condoms and sex toys, you run across some very strange things which can be purchased by putting coins or bills in slots. The odd machines are fascinating.I'll miss the strange things I occasionally find in vending machines.

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Won't Miss #7 - urban ugliness

Most people who see pictures from Japan see only the good stuff, but the truth is that most neighborhoods are really ugly. Tokyo is one of the most poorly designed and aesthetically unappealing cities in the world. It's full of ugly concrete boxes for the most part. Unless you're a tourist or make an effort to hit beautiful spots in your free time, your time in Japan is mainly going to be filled

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Will Miss #6 - welcome cats (maneki neko)

When I first arrived in Japan, I loved seeing the statues and figures of cats beckoning to customers to welcome them into the establishment. The statues are cute, but not painfully, annoyingly cute. The standard statue design is both impassive and oddly warm.While I've grown so used to them that they feel mundane, I think I'll miss them when I leave.

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Won't Miss #6 - overpriced imports

There are actually a lot of imports in Tokyo these days. From fabric softener to food to paper products, you can get a vast array of items from abroad. Unfortunately, most of the treats and trinkets from home are two to three times (or more) as expensive in Japan as they would be back home. I understand that importing costs more, but there is a huge mark-up on such goods, particularly when you

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Will Miss #5 - funky shop names

There are a great many shop names with nonsensical English (or katakana English) names. We're never sure if they make their mismatched choices intentionally or if it's just the whim of the owner because he likes the sound of the English. Either way, these are always good for a chuckle.I'll miss the number of shops with funny names.

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Won't Miss #5 - police harrasssment

The police in Japan have broad and vaguely defined powers. The laws are sometimes intentionally contradictory to allow the police to act in an arbitrary fashion should they choose to do so. The police routinely target foreigners for (not so) random bicycle theft and identification checks and also search the baggage (backpacks, briefcases, handbags, etc.) of both Japanese and foreign people alike

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Will Miss #4 - courier services

Courier services (aka takkyubin) in Tokyo are awesome. If one orders from Amazon Japan, it's not uncommon for orders to arrive the next day. You can also easily send anything via takkyubin by taking it to a big chain convenience store. If all of that weren't cool enough, it's also very reasonably priced.I'm going to miss the speed, professionalism and low price of the courier services.

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Won't Miss #4 - going to immigration

Going to the immigration office in Tokyo is always stressful, tiresome, and time-consuming. You have to wait at least an hour and go twice. If you're in the area which requires you to go to the main immigration office, you also have to travel into the middle of nowhere. If you're "lucky", the trip will "only" cost you three hours. What's worse, there's always a sense that you could be rejected

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Will Miss #3 - my landlord

My husband and I hit the jackpot apartment-wise when we moved to Japan. Our landlord and his wife live next door and are unfailingly polite, helpful, and do their best to accommodate our needs whenever we have a change or repair. They also respect our privacy meticulously. He speaks English quite well which has put all of our negotiations for rent contract renewal on our terms linguistically

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Won't Miss #3 - rude older men

Some older men in Tokyo navigate the crowded city as if everyone except other older men must yield to them in a variety of ways. Some of them walk head-on into packed crowds and expect everyone to get out of their way, sit on trains with legs spread wide open (taking up a disproportionate amount of space), and will bang or bump intentionally and unapologetically into you in shops if you are even

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Will Miss #2 - the herd mentality

When you are a part of a large group of people waiting to partake of something new or popular, it adds to the excitement and sense of triumphant acquisition when you finally achieve your goal. Walking into Krispy Kreme and buying a donut is a hum-drum event. Waiting with a lot of people who are keen to have one for an hour or more adds to the atmosphere of anticipation and novelty.I will miss how

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Won't Miss #2 - the herd mentality

When something becomes very popular in Japan, people tend to flock to it and huge lines are the result. That means that if you are curious about something or genuinely like it, you have to wait a very long time in a line (sometimes for hours) to sample a popular food or service.I won't miss waiting in long lines just to try something new or popular.

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Why there were no comments

In the early days of this blog, I allowed comments, but rapidly problems developed based on what is, perhaps, the somewhat unique nature of this blog. The main problem was that people either failed to grasp or refused to consider the nature of this blog no matter how meticulously I went out of my way to explain it. What was more, when I pointed out the explanation, people got angry at what I'm

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About Me

Since I've received, on occasion, unsolicited e-mail from people who believe that they know me based on my posts here, I thought it might be useful to provide some actual information about me. By no means will this reveal who I truly am (as that would be impossible from something as limited as a blog, particularly one about something other than myself), but at least it will provide some context

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Will Miss #1 - the plethora of sembei varieties

When it comes to loving sembei, I've been a decidedly late bloomer. For an exceptionally long time, I associated sembei with an overpowering baked rice, soy sauce and fishy smell. I've learned that there is a cornucopia of sembei flavoring out there from brown sugar to corn soup to garlic to wasabi.I'm going to miss the casual access to so many interesting and enjoyable varieties of sembei.

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Won't Miss #1- not finding shoes in my size

In America, I wear a size 8 1/2 shoe. This isn't the most petite foot, but it's also nowhere near a gigantic side. In Japan, this translates to my feet being a 1/2 size too big for women's shoes here.I won't miss not being able to find shoes in my size at shoe shops.

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My Raison D'etre

My husband and I have lived in Japan for a little over 20 years and our thoughts sometimes turn to how we'll feel when we eventually leave.I'm starting this blog to catalog the thoughts I've been having about the possibility of leaving Japan after such a long time. My hope is to find (at least) 500 things I will miss after I leave and 500 things I won't miss (hence the 1000 things). Why 1000?

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Contacting me by e-mail

If you would like to advertise on this site, have a business offer, or would like to interview me or provide a promotional opportunity for this site, you may e-mail me at: orchidsixtyfour@gmail.com

Thank you.

Please note that this address is not for e-mailing comments about the blog.

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What This Blog Is and Is Not

This blog isn't an attempt to address social issues or even life in Japan on a macro level. It's a highly personalized take on life in Japan based on my experiences and feelings. I'm not making any assertions that all places in Japan or all people are reflecting things that are mentioned here, nor am I implying that the things I mention here are not present in other parts of the world or cultures

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